Tribute to My Dad | Day 1 Idaho

I have held this private from all online forums for the past eight months, as I was not yet ready to publish my grief of losing my Dad from this life. I believe there has been appropriate closure for my kids on their loss of a grandpa, and I feel ready to publicly give tribute to my Dad in a way that honors his life.

Writing has always been a way that I process negative feelings (sadness, anger, loss), and writing notes was the primary way my dad and I were able to reconcile and apologize and express our love for one another as I was growing up. So it seems fitting to write.

I know my dad would want some humor sprinkled in, of course.

I’m dedicating this week to paying tribute to my Dad, scrapbooking our Celebration of Life for him, and recapping our family vacation to Idaho, per our kids’ request to have closure in their process of losing “Grandpa Seaward”.

We just returned from a week long trip to Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, where my dad lived for the past decade. We would make a family trip out to visit him every other summer. On the “off” summers, he would come out our way. Our family created Idaho traditions such as tubing down the river, renting a pontoon boat and exploring Coeur d’Alene Lake to find the best places to go rock jumping, hiking Tubbs Hill, and grabbing bites to eat in the cute, quaint downtown. My dad actually lived in Hayden, Idaho (about 10 minutes from CDA), so we would usually walk down to the Hayden Lake as well. There is nothing like mountain air, especially coming from the humidity of an east coast summer. Clear, cool, clean lakes to swim and play in, always made Ryan and I question why we were living in Maryland on the mucky, warm, jellyfish-populated, Chesapeake Bay.

My dad’s move out of northern California (where I grew up my whole life) into Idaho was very strategic. He settled in and became a true Idahoan (at least in his mind). My husband and kids were so grateful to have a home away from home in one of the most coveted locations in the US. So it was the only option to celebrate his life in this beautiful place, that was home for my dad. We just needed to wait half a year in order to celebrate his life, so that we could enjoy the beauty of the summer, rather than bear the (practically Canadian) winter.

I found out planning a funeral is very much like planning a wedding. But as the time drew near, there were many tasks that I wanted to just plain avoid, because it caused a lump in my throat. So in that respect, as one of my kids would point out, it was very much NOT like planning a wedding. Nonetheless, I was so grateful to have followed my Aunt Debbi’s lead (as she planned both my grandparents’), in waiting a while to host the service. It allowed me time to grieve without the stress of planning a funeral, and it gave us all some time to let our new reality settle so that it truly could be a celebration of his life once we all got together.

I’m choosing to break down our time in Idaho by each day, so that my family can look back and remember it accurately. I love that this blog can serve as a scrapbook of sorts for my family.

We made our way from Baltimore, Maryland to Spokane, Washington last Thursday on July 7. Traveling is so much easier (and way more fun) now that our kids are a bit older. Endless movies and personal drink orders help, too.

We had a layover in Salt Lake City, but all in all it was a fairly quick and uneventful trek across the country.

Before driving across the border to Idaho, I made a plan for us to stop at Trader Joe’s in Spokane to pickup snacks and flowers for the Celebration of Life ceremony. Trader Joe’s is my go-to for flowers for any event we host at home, they’re fresh, pretty, affordable, and I can always count on modern blooms and eucalyptus stems.

Since we woke the kids up at 4am to catch our flight, it was only a matter of minutes for them to do this…

This picture still makes me laugh!

Our first night we planned to stay at my dad’s brother’s house, my Uncle Mike and Aunt Ilene’s, in Pinehurst, Idaho. They had recently moved from the Seattle area to Idaho, and spent consistent time with my dad in the last year. They were definitely the boots on the ground for me as my dad’s health issues became a rising concern. Their house became a refuge of sorts for us, especially Ryan, as he made multiple trips out west to settle my dad’s estate. Joining us that evening was my dad’s sister, Aunt Debbi and Uncle Kirk “Griff”. We’ve learned that memorial services also become family reunions, which is a healing consolation.

In true Idaho fashion, Ryan and the kids started our trip off with taking my Uncle’s side-by-side out for a spin. They drove out to the nearby river and enjoyed the great outdoors. I stayed behind and chatted with my aunts and uncles.

It doesn’t get much prettier than this…

Skipping rocks and wading through crystal clear water entertained them for quite some time…

We ended our evening with hot dogs and hamburgers out on the back patio, reminiscing about my dad (mostly stories that we could laugh at), young and old. The thing I love about my family is that we can turn any tragedy into some form of a laughing matter. Call it morbid, call it what you want…but laughter is always good for my heart.

While Ryan, the boys and I went to bed early, my girls stayed up until midnight watching a movie down in the basement with my Aunt Debbi, who they refer to as “Mima”. Nothing says a good time like staying up way past your bedtime to party with your Mima!

And that was Day 1 of our trip in the books. I’m so grateful for time with my family, to hug them and be hugged, and to retell old stories that only family knows and would laugh at.

I’m including my dad’s obituary that I had published in the local Sunday newspaper, for keepsake: